the only person I would readily say I hate is coming to town this week. my sister delivered this news to me last night on the phone with a kind of sinister glee. I laughed too because the fact that I hate this silly boy is kind of a joke and a sport for me. (it's not a joke too, but I see humor in it all the same.)
I liked him well enough to start off. he was my sister's little friend. we almost had the same name: "I'm you plus a 'la'!" I'd say to him, and we'd talk for a long time about films. he was kind and rational, always eager to go to shows and drive us home afterward, and was like the gay (though he wasn't) friend who was missing from my life then. all nice nice, nothing funny at all from the nice little gabe from pacifica.
then one night he and my sister and I went out for drinks. she was moving away for grad school, and gabriel began lamenting that everyone he knew was moving away. off to portland, to austin, back to grad school, off to make their band a go. lamenting lamenting, hardly anyone will be left, I'll know no one here anymore. so I said, "you know, gabriel, once the summer is over, I won't be busy at all and we can make it a point to hang out. I will be so available for friend time." and he pressed his lips into a little pursed smile and said, "you know, I hate to quote a politician but I'm going to quote a politician here: I know [insert sister's name here], and you're no [insert sister's name here]." then a too-long pause, and "but you're [insert own name here], and that's fine too. I mean, it's not like I won't have any friends here. god, I didn't mean that."
first let me point out that he meant "paraphrase" where he said "quote." second let me point out how that moment turned all of his innocuous quirks into contrived ploys. his fanciful two-stringed guitar playing into gimmickry, his apparent sensitivity into mopey emo-kid manipulation, his subsequent move to portland to foment "underground music" into pure posturing. and then, not to mention, his formerly laugh-inducing tight white party pants into visual molestation.
his stupidly named band is scheduled to play at my friend's cafe next week. when I told my friend tonight who he is and why I hate him, she raged and fumed about emo-indie kids who keep quirky veils on their grating bullshit and softly package their urges to feel more powerful. she said, "if I'd have known what a dick he'd been to you, even once, I never would have booked that band." and she said too, "well gosh, looks like we haven't done much press for this show. we may just have to cancel in anticipation of poor turnout." ( & a wink, a nod, & a gratifying assertion.)