I had troubled dreams last night, all these dreams that troubled me. the house, my bed, all the food, everywhere was dirty, contaminated. my bed: too hot, too cold, contaminated. me, my thoughts, like poisons. redundant dreams. loud trucks on the road outside. troubled thoughts about all that I haven't done and should, and did do, but wrong.

sometimes it's easy to forget what defines you. sometimes you only remember the lack.