i want someone to read my numbers the way that people read palms. i've been noticing that certain patterns of numbers tend to follow me around. my p.o. box has the same pattern of three as my cellphone, my work phone, and an old address. half of my addresses have been half the same. two blank three. seven zero eight. ten one two. seven six three. three five six.
i was filling in a form last week and found myself writing an address at which i haven't resided for more than three years. (at least five have been between that and this one.) my mind skipped several grooves backward and lurched out the outmoded numbers.
i forget everything these days. (keys. appointments. myself on the train, heading to the wrong city.) my clumsiness levels are high. this morning (late already, kiwifruit newly dropped on pants and shirt, not yet aware i'd left my keys in the apartment) c said comfortingly, you know, sometimes you start forgetting everything and spilling everything and tripping over stuff you shouldn't trip over, and it's because big changes are afoot. your universe is shifting and you have to stumble to catch up. i grumbled a little bit but maybe he's right.
come on sweet changes, come on.