I should stop this. I should stop all this squandery time wasting and set to work. there is just too much to do. I want an assistant, daily hourly all the time, who will keep me on task and help me figure out how to best make a skirt fit and the right way to phrase my grant application. I want this assistant to be my boyfriend. I like him best and I can kiss him as rewards when he's very helpful. I want to stop poring over the past, over a past that's not even mine but which transfixes me like reruns of a ghastly soap opera where I can't stop being interested even though I know the end, I know the odd tragedy where the mysterious male lead tumbles off the cliff in a train wreck won't lurch around to have him return, because I already read in soap opera digest that he's left the show to take a prime-time role where he can really act for once and everyone can see he's better at more than just a glowering eyebrow raise at the end of the segment when the soap cuts to the commercial. if you know what I mean. (ahem.) yes then: I would like myself an assistant. an assistant to keep me on task.