can I just hurl myself right on out of here? oh, ugh. I'm baffled sometimes by what I place myself in daily. why do I choose what I know makes me unhappy? is it really just that I'm afraid? I hate it here so much, here at my job, I just don't know what to do. I mean, duh: stop working here, that's what to do. but I admit that's sort of scary for me. at this point it feels like forfeiting membership in my own dysfunctional family. these kinds of things, they always feel so hard to get out of. ugh.